A date for my trip has been set. Plans have also been set. This is actually happening. How do I feel you ask? I’ll get back to you on that in the next post. I’m still unsure.
Now for today’s post. So today was moving day, which entailed moving my last remaining furniture back home. Easy, concise and done in less than three hours. However, during this time a thought occurred about me leaving to study for my graduate studies. As I drove back home I turned to my significant other and asked him “Did I pick the right university?”. He looked at me and answered “You tell me.” It was not the answer I was looking for but he was right; only I could tell myself I had picked the right choice.
The reason for picking said university was solely based on a mock prophecy I made when I started all my graduate school interviews. Seeing as I don’t like interviews, found it tedious to have to dress up and actually go through the whole anxiety of it, I told myself that the one university that didn’t ask for an interview was the one I would go to. And magic! That’s what happened and that’s the university I’m going to. Now reader, don’t judge me for being lazy; first let me explain why my decision, in the long run, was the correct one. First off, the university I chose was the only one to offer me a secure job, a special deal on my tuition, had all my paperwork done before the end of April and is the one that cost the less. Not just that, in retrospection, this was the only university I wanted to get into throughout the whole process.
Reader, I know you must be shaking your head right about now and probably thinking why would I doubt my decision if I was getting such a great offer. Well let me tell you why: through the whole graduate school selection and interviews I learned of other possibilities I had never considered. It was like having the opportunity to date six cute guys (universities) who were all interested in me and were offering me different things. Not just that, I admit (and am ashamed) that I let the idea of prestige get in the way. What I mean by this is that I started thinking about how much cooler I would look in an expensive university just because it was pricey instead of just going to the university I wanted. I even started thinking I liked certain programs, which I did not like, just because my mentor liked them or my peers liked it. In that moment I stopped living my dream and my passion.
Needless to say I answered my earlier question. Yes, reader, I did pick the right university. Since day one I wanted to go there and now I am going. Since day one I wanted to leave and now I am leaving. Since day one I wanted life to start and now it is starting (graduate life, at least). I believe my doubt came not from real doubt but from fear of moving forward. Change is a scary thing, especially when you are going to a new place where you don’t know anybody. The before process is not easy and it won’t be any easier when I get there. Nevertheless this is a great opportunity that I need to take.
And I guess that is my message to you: when in doubt remember why you decided on that one thing. Life is never clear as to where it is taking you but you can decide where to stop, turn or go back. More than that, as you go through your path life will feel like it has lost meaning, you will doubt your path and you may get lost. It is at these moments that we must stop and remember what our main goal was and arm ourselves with the courage to continue.
Reader, nothing comes easy and any prize worth having usually requires a risk. And I believe I say that more for me but we all need some encouraging. Keep your head held high and your eyes on the prize.