Yesterday I got an ass-whoopin’ lesson in patience and acceptance. Yes, yesterday was a trying day and a really long day at that. Having been able to only sleep 3 hours, I brazed myself for what would be the longest day of my life. Nevertheless, as I ran errands all through the southwest of PR, I (unwillingly) encountered a big life lesson.
Yesterday’s adventure was brought to me by my mother, graduate school and a shit ton of important things to do. First off I needed to go to the doctor to get a check up, followed by some paper work that needed to be sent via snail mail; later on I had to get my contacts done, do some grocery shopping, try to open a bank account in the US and cut the electric services from my old apartment. I’m sure there was more things that fell in between the cracks of all the other things I listed and my small freak-outs. Nevertheless, I want to focus on the things that I could not do like cut the electricity and open the bank account. Yes, I was able to get the other things done and some extra things on the side; so why am I focusing on the bad things of my day? Well, let me tell you about that ass-whoppin’.
These last two things I could not do were the things I was most intent on doing because they are a burden to my everyday life and by resolving these two things I’ll be able to focus on other things. However, due to a shortage of time, me not having my own car and service (on both sides) not being efficient, all my plans got held back. Needless to say how awful I felt knowing I had come all this way and had managed to do none of them. “But Wanda, you did all the other things!” Yes reader, I hear you loud and clear and I totally understand your point. However, I haven’t gotten my two cents in. Knowing I had done everything else on the list and still failed caused me to feel like a failure; as if everything else did not matter. Knowing I had failed, and was thoroughly upset, made me realize how foolish I was (that and the fact that we stopped at Party City and the Toys R’ Us. Yes, I like party things and I like toys). I may have swam the ocean (figuratively speaking) and drowned at the shore but I swam, didn’t I? I made the whole trip. Yes there were hiccups. Yes, it would have been nice to have done everything my way (Darn you Sinatra!); but it didn’t happen. Why? Because I’m human. I’m not perfect and that means that at times I will fall short.
Reader, the bigger picture of this is that no matter how much I wanted to do everything and then some, it was not possible. Yes, there are times our To Do List does get done the right way but there will be small mishaps along the day (and through our life). And it is up to us to decide whether we will let these things ruin our day (life), or are we going enjoy the things we did get done and just keep walking. We are all humans. We are all imperfect in our own beautiful way; and we take what we can get, make out of it what we will and life (the cosmos, Thor, God, Karma) will do the rest.
What I’m getting at here is that it was foolish of me to get mad at myself because I couldn’t do two things. It means that I’ll have to plan better the next time. It means that I’ll have to place these things on the back burner and focus on other things. Yet, none of it is bad. It just means that I have to not only juggle certain things in my life at the same time; it also means that I need to do things when they have to be done and not when I want. Here in PR we have a saying for wanting to do things at a rapid pace: “Lo quiere hacer a la cañona”. I don’t know how to translate it but it would be someone who wants to do it the high way. Something like that.
This is all part of growing up. Being patient and accepting the things that come your way is just another step I must take. It will take time, and old habits will arise, but it’s possible. Adapting and growing is doable. Being perfect is not. So remember, it’s okay to crap up every now and then. Just remember that those legs are not just for walking, they’re for standing up and you can decide to use them for what they were meant for or just let the hang while you’re sitting on you tush.
P.S. “The Middle” is a song from Jimmy Eat World. If you’re feeling like life is crushing you to death, listen to this song.