The Fear of Creation

Hey readers, coming at you fast with some mad wisdom about art and life. So, if you read my last post you know that I am now selling my art. I started a small business making any-occasion cards where the painting in the front is a personal creation using alcohol inks. It all seems cool and life changing but let me tell you how I got to doing this.

A couple of months back our Expressive Arts professor introduced to our class alcohol inks. If you’ve ever used these inks you know that they’re incredibly hard to control. They mix and match; they run and just make a mess if you don’t know how to use it. The purpose of this exercise was to teach us to trust ourselves as artists and to make us see that we can’t control everything. It’s a nice teaching when learning to be a counselor and an expressive artist. But when you’re an anal artists like myself, you spurn this type of creation method because you can’t control it.

After this one exercise everybody was all on board with the inks and everybody bought them. I mean, like most people in our class bought the whole set of paints! I, on the other hand, thought it was pure crap. I stuck to my normal paints and took up drawing naked people for the time being. Nevertheless, the universe heard my negation and decided to put me on the hot-seat.

One day, after this exercise, my boss asked me to do four thank you cards for guest professors who went to one of her classes. I was sweating bullets because I wanted to do something nice but at the same time I thought I couldn’t do it because the inks were impossible to control; or so I thought. So, I internalized my inner artists and told myself that there was no wrong way of doing this. I took into heart the previous teaching I was given when I used this method and got to work.

It took me three hours to make the four cards. I slaved away trying to make the images in my head come out on the paper. The results were amazing. All the fear and hate I had for the inks dissolved away and I was able to flow with the inks. I learned to make mistakes into beauty (thank you Bob Ross) and to kill my inner critic.

One of the four pieces I made for my boss.

One of the four pieces I made for my boss.

What I am getting to is that my hate was not fueled by my eccentricity; it was fueled by my fear to fail. I did not like the idea of not being able to create a nice painting and this caused me to shun new possibilities into my life. I was so afraid of failing I took away from myself a new opportunity to grow. Being forced, by my job and the universe, to step out of my comfort zone I was able to see how good I was at this new medium. I was able to empower myself through a new method of creation which ultimately has made me money. More than that, it has brought me happiness.

My most recent creation.

My most recent creation.

Reader, no words can describe the happiness I get by creating. To see people’s faces when they look at my work and wonder how I did it and ask me if I can teach them.  To hear people’s amazement at how well I have captured a memory or a feeling without knowing it. To feel that warmth when I finish a piece after hours of sitting in my small make-shift studio. Those are the things that this new method and small business has brought me.

And, reader, here comes the mad wisdom. Don’t turn away from something because you’re afraid. Don’t rip it out of your life because you can’t control it. Take it, hold it in your hands and let it change you. Life can take you in different directions but if you don’t take a turn, come to a dead-end, or even stop once in a while, you’ve missed the fun of the journey. We can have our minds made up. We can be accustomed to having things in a specific way. But if you never change it up and step out of your comfort zone, then you never really know what you’re missing or even what you truly want in life. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t be afraid of making a mistake.  Everything has a reason; learn from it, share it and grow. Because, who knows, that one thing you were afraid to do might bring you the most happiness than all those things you were already accustomed to.

Signing off, TWS

P.S. If you want to purchase some paintings please go to my page: Paradise Inks


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